Spring comes forth in my heart

(my) Peppermint, taken at the Garden

I feel a little weird today, it’s like eating bad tacos literally but anyway it doesn’t much affect how I’m feeling exactly at the moment. The rain has finally come here to touch our land. The dry spell is over—perhaps it is.

I woke up very early this morning. Pitter, patter, pitter, patter. The sound of the rain makes me want to go to bed again and curl up in bed. Sunday is supposed to be lazy and boring.

Boring. I love boring actually. The concept of being bored to me is sleeping in peace. I love being bored because it’s a way for me to silence my mind at times. When I’m bored, that’s when I tell myself to give up anything that is bothering me for that moment and stay still.  In other words, I let myself become bored and not actually complain about it.

I made peace with boredom now.

June is like Spring to us here. You can see the rich color of green everywhere, the scent of wet earth and herbs all around the garden makes me feel alive even more. Rain cleanses the earth and the air.

I remember, back in College – I cried a huge deal and I walked in the rain. (Sounds like a perfect material for a soap or movie, eh?) But I did it anyway.

At that very moment, I believe that the earth is crying with me. We are one with my sorrow.

After the rain, bliss appears.  Abundance springs forth in the color of green. The shades of summer is gone, the air is cool once again.

Bliss will only exist if you open yourself to love, if you allow love to take its course in your heart and accept what you have become and what you are about to become.  The mystery of loneliness and bliss plays around my mind. These will always be around us.

Loneliness for me is when you choose to hold to a memory or to a concept of something. We have ideals. We get sad when we don’t meet this things, when we don’t accomplish these tasks we have at hand. For a long time, I have been lonely. I learned the art of emptying myself from things that makes me hold on to the past: my journals (which I burned while in tears), my old things (which my mom joyfully threw at the trash bin) and even old relationships that no longer works.

We hold onto things and people so much. (I don’t mean that we take our loved ones for granted, that is never the case.)

Yesterday, I received an SMS from Fristine. I say how apt. Thought it would be nice to share it with you:

“Why do our parents first teach us how to CLOSE and OPEN our HANDS?
For us to LEARN how to,  HOLD ON and LET GO.”

When you lose everything, would there be a chance for you to be happy again? What then is bliss? What then is loneliness?

We always have a choice:  loneliness or bliss.   I choose the latter. I find bliss from my empty cup.

I see life as a glass globe.  Glass because it is very fragile, it cracks easily and it cracks more when you shake it further. It breaks in shards when your body is gone.  When the glass is spotless it means you live life with so much fear, you’re scared of putting yourself on the edge, you only show a few of your cards and hurt others. Perfect as it may seem, you cannot breathe inside your glass.

As for me? My glass globe already has cracks on the side. That is my life, it’s not perfect and it never will be.  There’s even a hole on the other side, I can never patch it up or put it back in its place. I’m not scared. This hole allows me to breathe and see things in a different perspective. This hole allows me to come back and forth from reality and from infinite bliss.

I don’t mind that someday, this glass globe will liberate me from everything.

While I am here, I will go back to my center.

Spring comes forth in my heart.

I hope you find bliss in your empty cup too.